Blog #26. Even in the Quietest Moments

How do you feel about spending time on your own? Are you excited at the prospect of time to hear your own breath, heartbeat, and thoughts? Does your life abhor a vacuum and any space fills in with loads of ToDos? Maybe you equate alone time with loneliness or isolation. For women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s, alone time can feel like a paradox.

Can you hear the feather floating?

Research suggests that spending time alone holds both benefits and risks. Solitude is a conscious choice, a decision to step away from the noise of the world to reconnect with ourselves. It’s that blissful stillness where we can read a book, meditate, or listen to our thoughts without interruption.

Isolation, however, isn’t always a choice. It’s that feeling of being cut off, disconnected, or forgotten by the world. Sometimes, isolation can sneak up on us. Unlike solitude, isolation can drain our energy, leaving us feeling empty and longing for connection.

The quality of existing social relationships likely impacts how older women view and experience their time alone. Those with strong social connections may find solitude more restorative. Some of us have spent a lifetime packing in as much as possible to keep quietude at bay. Others have actively sought quieter lives and may find that they now risk crossing into feeling isolated. Overall, older adults tend to find solitude more peaceful and rewarding than younger adults. Nevertheless, new retirees often express trepidation about increased solo time.

The best alone time is about being intentional. Engaging in active, meaningful solitary activities like hobbies, reading, or reflection is more beneficial than passive time alone. Scholars point to the value of carving out space in your day to do what you love such as gardening, painting, or contemplation. Private time is given in love and is without feeling guilty or selfish. Self-care is self-love.

One way to achieve the balance between empowering solitude and energizing socializing is by being mindful. Observe when quiet time moves from nurturing to heavy. Note when socializing moves from energizing to exhausting. This balance is different for everyone—some women thrive on frequent social outings, while others feel perfectly content with a few close connections. Only you can decide.

Ultimately, spending time on our own is about finding that sweet spot between solitude and connection. It’s about honoring our need for me-time while also recognizing when we need to reach out and reconnect. And remember, it’s okay if this balance shifts over time. What matters is that we listen to ourselves and adjust as needed.

So, the next time you find yourself alone, ask yourself: Am I nourishing my spirit with some well-deserved solitude, or do I need to reach out and reconnect? Join us at WonderCrone.com or in our membership community, Where Wisdom Meets Wonder. We support you with a community that understands the paradox because we live it. Come join us and let's find those moments to savor.

#wondercrone #wherewisdommeetswonder #metime #isolation #solitude