Blog #107. Variation—All the Possible You

Last week, we began exploring Darwin’s principle of variation. This might feel a little radical, because for most of our lives, consistency is rewarded—even expected.

What are all the possible you?

You become known as the reliable one. The responsible one. The organized one. The strong one. Once the world assigns you that role, it can be surprisingly hard to step outside of it. Sometimes, the people around us even resist when we do. (Can I get an amen, sisters?)

But Darwin is clear about this: stability and evolution are not the same thing.

Nature keeps species alive by producing variation. Not every oak tree grows exactly the same. Not every bird sings the same song. Life experiments constantly. Humans do too.

Somewhere along the way, many of us stop allowing those experiments. Especially women. By the time we reach our third chapter, we have often become very good at being the version of ourselves that worked before and that people expected us to play.

Evolution asks a different question: What other versions of me are possible?

Variation in human life does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks small and almost invisible.

The woman who always organized everyone else’s plans suddenly takes a solo trip. The woman known for discipline discovers she enjoys improvisation. The practical problem-solver begins writing poetry. The quiet one raises her hand in a meeting and surprises herself by speaking with authority.

None of these moments rewrite a life overnight, but each one introduces a new possibility.

Variation expands the range of who we are allowed to be. And something interesting happens when we permit these small shifts: we begin discovering parts of ourselves that were never given room before.

There is a liberation of possibilities for women in our third chapter. As Clarissa Pinkola Estés reminds us: “If you have yet to be called an incorrigible, defiant woman… don’t worry, there is still time.”

Here is this week’s small evolutionary experiment: try on a slightly different version of yourself.

• If you are usually the planner, let someone else lead. (Yes, this may be harder than it sounds. Buckle up and release the control.)

• If you are usually the serious one, lean into play.

• If you are the helper, practice receiving.

• If you are the quiet observer, say the thing you have been thinking.

You are not abandoning who you are. You are allowing your life to generate new variations. And somewhere inside those variations, something unexpected may fit beautifully. After all, evolution does not require us to become someone else. It simply invites us to discover who else we might also be.

Here’s the real question: Which version of you is quietly waiting for a little room to emerge?

Some of these experiments will light you up. Others will quietly fade away. That, as Darwin observed, is how evolution decides what stays—and how elder women age in power.