Blog #93. Flickering Holiday Lights

Maybe you’re catching yourself wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why don’t I feel that holiday joy I used to — the kind that used to bubble up without effort, like when I was a child?”

Long ago, December felt magical. Now, it feels… heavy. And exhausting.

Take time for reflection and grace -- for yourself.

There are meals to plan, loose ends to tie, people to soothe, expectations to juggle. No one assigned you these roles, but you became the safe pair of hands everyone relies on. Somewhere along the way, the season shifted from anticipation to obligation, and you shifted right along with it.

And deep down, you feel it: not just tired, but tired in your bones. The kind of tired that makes joy hard to access no matter how many traditions you’re keeping alive.

Still, you push through because you always have. Because slowing down feels risky. Someone might notice. Someone might think you are slipping, softening, fading. Someone might quietly conclude that you cannot keep up the way you used to.

You dare not slow down. Everything you’re juggling may come clattering down. What if the only thing “wrong” is the belief that joy is supposed to feel the same at 60 as it did at six?

Childhood joy bubbled from simplicity. Adult joy has to sneak past responsibility, caretaking, decades of emotional labor, and a holiday season that somehow runs on the fumes of women like you.

So let us try a different approach. What if, instead of hunting for joy, you made space for it? That begins with something both small and revolutionary: A Power Pause.

A tiny ritual to bring you back to yourself when everything around you pulls you in competing directions. Here’s how it works:

1. Stop. For ninety seconds — just ninety — call a full halt. No multitasking. No fixing. No managing. Just stop.

2. Soften. Unclench your jaw. Lower your shoulders. Release your belly. Let your body be human instead of heroic.

3. Sense. Feel the chair under you, the breath inside you, the quiet you rarely give yourself permission to hear.

4. Steady. Ask: What is actually mine to hold right now? Let the rest slip from your grip.

This is not a path to instant holiday bliss. This is a path back to you — the you who can experience moments of joy because she is no longer running on empty. Because when you give yourself ninety seconds of presence, you create the conditions where real joy — adult joy, earned joy — can rise again.

Try this today, between errands or conversations, or caretaking. Try it tomorrow. Try it whenever you feel the weight pressing in.

Every time you choose the power pause, you choose yourself. And that is a powerful choice.

If you are giving yourself even a moment of rest, you are already rewriting your story. Break the script. Live your power. You belong with us.